A little summary:
1. first of all, thank you for the hint from colleague Is_77 - that I also did not immediately come across this

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2. good point about the fan running when the DHW is in play mode, but:
(a) my DHW is mainly catered for by a 1F 3kW heater built into a 300l DHW tank, the boiler is of course set to a lower DHW task value of 43st. C (in the case of a large consumption, the boiler will switch on, but this is quite a rare situation)
b) I already have an idea how to exclude the operation of the 4.5kW CH heater when the DHW boiler is in heating mode (fan operation), but that will be below.
3 So I measured and checked a bit at the main board
a) the fan is powered from connector X20 - PIN 16 (blue) and 17 (red) - when the fan is running there is about 24V DC (photo below), I am wondering how to "nicely" connect to these cables, maybe there are some connectors that slightly cut the insulation and make as a "T" connector
b) in addition there are two more wires to the fan, i.e. black (3) and grey (4), according to me 3 is the speed measurement (Hall sensor) and 4 is the PWM frequency control of the fan motor - there is about 4V there (photo below)

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The whole schematic below:
So my quick idea as it's late is this:
- I add a second timer relay fed in parallel from the blast fan circuit pins 16 and 17 of connector X20 (19VDC), the coil supposedly requires 24VDC (hopefully it will switch on) with a delay of 10min, on the NO contact I set in series, the second relay switched on from the circulating pump with a delay of 5 minutes. So in summary we have that when either DHW or CH is switched on, the heater will start 15 minutes after both conditions have occurred. I don't remember the boiler heating my DHW for longer than those 15min, so I rule out the condition of the heater running while the boiler is running DHW. If the DHW is switched on immediately, then the heater operation will also start after 15 minutes. I have tentatively checked that when switching CH to DHW and vice versa then the fan switches off for a while, so the countdown will start again for both time relays.
4 Most importantly, the heater has its own thermostat and thermal protection, so even if something were to happen to the contactor logic, nothing would boil over there.
Please give any comments on my planned solution.
Thanks again for the help of my colleague - Is_77