10 jokes only an engineer can understand Who said engineers don't have a sense of humor? 1. Ordinary people think that if something is working properly you don't have to touch it. Engineers believe that if something works correctly, it means that there is still some work to be done on it :)
2. For the average optimist, the glass is half full. For an ordinary pessimist, the same glass is half empty. For a normal engineer, the glass is twice as big :)
3. A priest, a doctor and an engineer wait for another group to finish golf.
- The engineer asked, "What about these guys ?! Why do we have to wait so long for them ?!"
- The doctor added: "I don't know about them, but I have never seen a game of golf so inept!"
- The priest asked the court guardian for an explanation and asked: What is happening with these people in front of us? They play quite inept, don't they?
- The guardian said: "It's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their eyesight while putting out our club fire last year. We let them play for free whenever they want.
There was a moment of reflection and then the priest said:
- "It is very sad, tonight I will say a special prayer for them"
- The doctor added: "I will contact an ophthalmologist friend, maybe they will be able to help somehow?"
- After a while the engineer added: "Couldn't they play at night?" :)
4. What is the difference between a mechatronics engineer and a civil engineer? The first designs weapons and the second designs targets :)
5. The analyst will ask: - Why is it working?
The engineer will ask: - How does it work?
The accountant will ask: - How much does it cost?
The artist will ask: - Do you want fries with it? :)
6. Three people are discussing who designed the human body.
The first person said it was definitely a mechanic "just look at all those joints and arms."
The second person said it had to be an electronics engineer: "the nervous system is based on current and signals"
The third interlocutor suggested that it must have been a civil engineer: "who else could run the sewage system in such a clever way?" :)
7. Two engineering students were walking around the college campus when one asked:
- where did you get such a nice bike?
- and you know, I was walking here yesterday, thinking about my life and suddenly such a long-legged blonde appeared on this bike, suddenly threw this bike, took off all her clothes and said: "take what you want!"
- a good choice! clothes would not fit you anyway ... :)
8. One day the engineer met a frog on his way, which said to him:
- if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess.
The engineer looked at the frog, leaned over, picked it up and put it in his pocket. The frog began to scream loudly:
- if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for a week and I will do whatever you want with you!
The engineer smiled and slipped the frog back into his pocket. At this, the frog asked:
- what happened? why you don't want to kiss me, after all I'm a beautiful princess and I promised you everything you want?
- listen, frog! I am an engineer! I don't have time for girls, but I really like the talking frog :)
9. The wife asks the engineer husband to go to the store:
- buy milk and if they have eggs take six.
The husband returns with six cartons of milk, the wife stares in disbelief and her husband says:
- they had balls ... :)
The engineer died and went to Hell. He was quickly disturbed by the low standard of living in Hell and began to design and build improvements. After a while they had air conditioning, flush toilets and an escalator, and the engineer became a very popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan and asks mockingly:
- How's it going downstairs?
- Great, we have an air-conditioning system, flush restrooms, escalators, and no one knows what the engineer will come out with. Satan replied.
- What?!? Do you have an engineer?!? It's a mistake, it should never come down, send it to us.
- Forget it. I like the engineer on the crew. I stop him.
- Send him upstairs or I'll sue you!
Satan laughed mockingly:
- Yaa, of course. Where are you gonna get lawyers?
source: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10-jokes-only-...rs-understand-who-says-dont-have-joshua-gohil
Comments
For me, the liquid level in this glass dropped by 6dB ;) 1st biscuit of the week: There are 10 kinds of people: -people who know binary code -people who do not know binary code :) [Read more]
I also have such a biscuit: They had students of engineering and medicine crammed into 10 A4 pages: doctor: when? engineer: what for? [Read more]
There are definitely 10 kinds of people in the world 01. People who know binary code 02. People who don't know binary code 10. People who know the xD triple code [Read more]
Binary logic is / is not there. Yes No. Trojan logic is the logic of an engineer with a company experience. Yes / no / I don't know [Read more]
This is called fuzzy logic. It becomes even more blurry when the engineer completes the sales course. Then he will answer: I don't know, but you will surely be satisfied. [Read more]
I also found such a translation ... from engineering to ours :) How to interpret phrases in scientific works. It is recognized that ... - I accept that. ... correct to the order of magnitude... [Read more]
One unemployed engineer, unable to find employment for a long time, decided to change his profession and set up his own clinic. On the building he hung a sign with the words "We will cure your ailment... [Read more]
It would be more fitting: - Good morning, I lost my eyesight, please help me ... - I understand, I will give you a medicine - while saying this, he takes out syrup No. 22 The doctor stiffens, but in... [Read more]
What a colleague wrote bestler is a bull's-eye. I would add: This is a fantastic scientific solution could be be used in many branches of the economy -> is useless except for whipping... [Read more]
Hahaha, good, I have to remember. [Read more]
A classic that will also suit engineers. One math professor has a broken radiator. He didn't know how to fix, so called a plumber. This moment he tapped, tapped and fixed. But when the professor... [Read more]
Comparison of one day of a medical school student (future doctor) and a polytechnic student (future engineer :) 18:00 AM: The beginning of the last class of the day. PL: The beginning of the first... [Read more]
Maybe not about engineers, but about an expert, quite close ;) [Read more]
Groups of engineers and computer scientists rode the train to the conference. Each of the engineers had their own ticket, and the IT group only had one ticket for all. Engineers laughed and joked about... [Read more]
I just read these jokes and ... and I'm proud to be an engineer :-) [Read more]
Apparently, the engineer designing the woman was completely ignorant ... Well, who is designing the sewer outlet next to the playground. :?: [Read more]
By the way, when I used to work in a large corporation in various positions, I felt like the poor Anderson from the movie many times. failure ;) [Read more]
Probably not only you :-) I don't work for a large corporation, but when talking to clients I feel like this several times a week. Final message for 10 points -> "NEVER TELL ANYONE THAT YOU CAN'T... [Read more]
And it is so, the only determinant is the multitude of human and financial resources involved. [Read more]